We all do it. We get triggered by someone and we react, we might even get angry. Is there a better way to handle our reaction?
You might want to inquire – am I defending or protecting? What is the difference between defending and protecting yourself or another? Knowing the difference can help tremendously with your serenity, decrease stress and help you feel like you have more energy, feel more empowered.
Defending
Defending is out of proportion to the present moment. This is a vital clue.
Attack is a most extreme form of defense. Attacking is never an appropriate response. Attack – like the less extreme form seen in defense – is reliving another time, trying to repair and heal another instance that is projected into the present moment. It is trying to right a wrong from the past, a wound we are trying to unconsciously heal. There is a deep emotional charge that is behind the attack, less so when defending.
In fact, A Course in Miracles makes the extreme statement that anger is never justified.
“Anger always involves projection of separation, which must ultimately be accepted as one’s own responsibility, rather than being blamed on others. Anger cannot occur unless you believe that you have been attacked, that your attack is justified in return, and that you are in no way responsible for it…You cannot be attacked, attack has no justification, and you are responsible for what you believe.” (Chap 6:1-7)
Protecting
Protection comes from a place that is centered. It may even feel relatively emotion free. It could be as simple as a “no”, a boundary. It is appropriate to hold healthy boundaries. It is held firm, but there is also respect, kindness and love present. Your heart is open, not closed. You are still in relationship to yourself and others. There is a positive intention to your actions.
Protection can be a very healing response in a situation. In its highest vibration, it can feel like guidance. It is in proportion relative to the situation; it is balanced, centered, and respectful – and yet – it can be very firm. That firmness comes from a place of knowing, from wisdom.
Not hate, but love. Hate meeting hate… perpetuates.
Strive for loving protection and guidance. It is the greatest kindness you can show for yourself and others. Which would you rather do?
Raise your words, not voice.
It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder.– Rumi
It is helpful to work with someone to understand the energy of hidden emotions behind our reactions. If you would like to explore this further, I work with people to help them explore and manage their energetic patterns of emotions, especially in relationships. Click on the “Appointments” tab and set up a time.
The post Feel Triggered? Are You Defending or Protecting? appeared first on Mindful Living with Marijo Puleo.
